Cosmetic Surgery

I have been scheduling consultations with a couple of plastic surgeons because I do have some physical issues with my stomach and chest. This condition is preventing me from doing the simpliest things such as going swimming with my neices at their pool parties. :( This has been an issue for as long as I can remember. I also wanted a professional opinion on whether or not I would ever be able to lose this last bit of weight so I can have a flat stomach. So basically, since I have been overweight for so long and have lost so much weight, the only way to have a flat stomach is to undergo surgery. This procedure is known as Abdominoplasty. :) The three quotes I was given are $10,782.25, $9.523.54 and $6,500. Pretty expensive. For me, anyways. :( So that is where I am at right now. I am trying to save some money for this procedure. I will also need an additional procedure as well for my chest area and that is another story. But for now, I'm focusing on this.

Okay, now back to reality! This weekend was a total disaster for me. Disaster as in making wrong food choices. I used a friend's visit as an excuse to dive back into my old habits. This is really an eye opener for me because one slip up can turn all my hard work around. I found myself eating three bags of candy within the past two days. But why? I thought about this long and hard. The only explanation I have goes back to my weightloss procedure I mentioned earlier. It is something I want now and I know that I will have to wait. Another contributing factor is the response to the question I asked each doctor. "So I can do as much exercise and cardio as I possibly can and I won't have a flat stomach?" To which they all responded. "Yes, this is only correctable by surgery." :( So my thinking right now is... what's the point of all this exercise? What's the point of maintaining if it isn't going to change anything. I know I will be healthy but I have yet to see the results of all my hard work and sacrifice...

Don't get me wrong. I love working out and I enjoy lifting weights and running. It's just that I really want to start an intimate relationship, but this extra skin and fat is holding me back. I believe that I will not be totally comfortable with myself until I can look in the mirror when I get out of the shower and honestly tell myself. You look good! But instead, I'm literally disgusted with what I see. Not as myself as a person, but my physical appearance. I know that person is not who I am. I know who I am. Isn't a mirror supposed to show who you are and that is not who I am. :( I don't expect any sympathy. And I am tired of people telling me about inner beauty and what not. They don't know how it is to be in my situation. :\ I'm just being honest about how I truly feel about myself. I know beauty is only skin deep but why can't I just be another average joe who can do something as simple as walking around without a shirt on or wearing a tight t-shirt... I believe this physical part of my body is holding me back from happiness. Can you put a price on happiness? There should be a way I can claim this on my insurance based upon mental reasons. Haha. Cuz it's driving me crazy! O_o

All in due time! I just gotta raise the funds. Any suggestions on how I can get there quicker? :P Until next time! :) Keep working out and here's to a heathly lifestyle. I'm definately gonna take control of this candy-fest and have a good workout tonight! :) Life is a rollercoaster ride and this is just another part of the ride.